Dear Amy: Sometime after we got married, I went through my wife’s phone and saw that she was still communicating with her exes.
As they made advances toward her sexually, she never rejected their advances and remained in communication with them.
I confronted her about this, and she said she was ignoring them. Now she has changed her number, so they can’t contact her.
I feel that was cowardly of her. I’d feel more comfortable if she rejected them outright. I believe that by only changing her number, she can always call them back if our marriage doesn’t last.
What’s your take on this?
Dear Confused: My take is that no one — you, your wife, or her exes — seems to expect your marriage to last.
Ask Amy: I’m usually very discreet, but I think my friend should hear this secret
Ask Amy: The other grandma gets to babysit. I can only watch the dog.
Ask Amy: I wish I had thought this out before I got a DNA test
Ask Amy: I don’t want to see their kids or talk about their kids
Ask Amy: My remarried ex is sleeping with me. What should I do?
I agree with your overall point of view that once she married you, your wife should not engage in ongoing communication with former romantic or sexual partners, unless these people are in an active friendship with both of you.
It doesn’t matter what phone number your wife chooses. Any person can contact any other person, through social media, instant messenger, email, postal mail, smoke signals, semaphore flag signals or, Bob Woodward style, through leaving a flag in a flowerpot.
Most important is the lack of trust between you two. You should not feel the need to go through your wife’s phone and police her contact with other people. The fact that you do indicates the lack of trust at the core of your relationship.
Dear Amy: A few years ago my cousin …
Source:: East Bay – Entertainment