DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in New York, and am lucky to have many friends concerned for me during the pandemic (particularly from my home country, which is far less affected).
I say “lucky,” but initially, I was drowning in their concern.
At one stage, I received messages from people I hadn’t heard from for years, and requests for video calls from morning to night, which I was unable to keep up with. At the same time, countless “buddy check” text groups sprung up, with each social group requiring a check-in.
I’m still working, plus many of my friends are at home and contacting me at awkward hours. Over time, I’ve been able to gently convince some to back off — reminding them that I’m well, happy, still employed, have a safe home, and am an introvert who likes isolation.
Miss Manners is horrified by the latest twist on baby showers
Miss Manners: Can I announce my daughter’s achievement in a misleading way?
Miss Manners: His demand that we honor this deceased inebriate is outrageous
Miss Manners: My response to rude child still offends them years later
Miss Manners: She called me trashy because of my mealtime habit
After spending my whole workday on video calls, this introvert really just needs some quiet time, and I don’t want to blog every day. However, if some extroverted acquaintances don’t see a social media post from me, they’ll send multiple messages asking if I’m OK and attempt to call. I set my phone to do-not-disturb after 7 p.m. so that I don’t hear the calls. They immediately text an “RU OK?”
However well meant, it feels really intrusive. I’m not sure what to do, short of simply ignoring these people entirely — which feels very rude.
The truth is, I have a really well-developed support network and we look after each other. The presumption that these acquaintances need to do a personal “proof of life” check on me every few days seems absurd.
I’ve asked other friends here in NYC, and they’re experiencing similar frustration with people back …
Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle