Ask Amy: They attacked me over my innocent dating preference

DEAR AMY: I would classify myself as a generally nice, nonjudgmental friend. I tend to lean toward being a “fixer,” but I have never been called rude, judgmental, or mean.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

Recently I was having what I thought was a benign conversation with a group of friends. I expressed my viewpoint that I wouldn’t want to date a person who was super into spectator sports. This was met with anger, disbelief, and harsh criticism.

I always try to give my friends the benefit of the doubt and accept their opinions (even if I don’t agree), but now I’m feeling judged and outed for not fitting into the group’s majority opinion on this topic.

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I want to bring up how I’m feeling and address the larger issue (I don’t care so much about the opinion itself as I do the reaction), but I want to make sure I’m not creating more hostility. How would you go about this?

Feeling Judged

DEAR FEELING: It’s best to respond (if possible, with humor) in the moment: “Whoa, ease up, guys. I feel like I’m on a bad Tinder date, here!”

After the fact, you can express: “I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and while I respect that we don’t agree on some things, I left our last meeting feeling like you all really piled on.”

DEAR AMY: Over 20 years ago, my middle school-aged younger sibling was violently sexually assaulted by the adult son of my parents’ best friends.

When my sibling told me about it, I convinced my sibling to tell our mother, assuming she would do the right thing. But alas! Not only did my mother refuse to take any action,

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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