DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were invited to my boss’s for dinner and cards (“Bring your appetite, we’re serving our special”). When we arrived, we were greeted with, “We’re just getting through; get yourselves a drink and we’ll be right in.”
We did bring our appetites and were painfully starving as we exchanged perplexed glances. Upon leaving, we thanked them for a wonderful evening and, needless to say, drove to the nearest restaurant.
Did our hosts really forget that they asked us to dinner? What would others have done in this situation?
GENTLE READER: It seems odd to Miss Manners, as well. Are we sure that everyone’s good manners are not hiding a more fundamental miscommunication, such as a confusion about arrival time?
If so, your being too polite to ask, “Where’s the food?” and your host being too polite to ask, “Where were you?” leaves everyone perplexed, if not insulted.
Miss Manners: They assume I had sex-change surgery, but this is just the way I look
Miss Manners: Is it out of line to tell all the guests to wear the same color?
Miss Manners: A stranger sent her a baby gift, and she thinks she knows why
Miss Manners: Can I carry a photo of my dead husband when I march down the aisle?
Miss Manners: That’s not my name, but is it petty to complain?
In the circumstances described, the answer to “We’re just getting through” is, “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry: Are we late? We thought we were supposed to arrive at 8.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When having guests over for dinner, I am unable to find a gracious way to refuse alcohol to those who will be driving. I generally don’t give it as an option when asking what they would like to drink, but they often request a glass of wine nonetheless.
It’s not that I associate with lushes and felons, but I personally would prefer not to serve any alcohol …
Source:: East Bay – Lifestyle