Carolyn Hax: I’m tired of these kids and want them gone

DEAR CAROLYN: Two years ago, my wife and I took in her two half-siblings, ages 5 and 8. It was an emergency situation, her mom had real problems I don’t want to get into, and their dad was overwhelmed and we really had to step up.

Now my mother-in-law is completely out of the picture, and the kids’ father would like to resume full custody.

I was so relieved at the news. I was glad to help when we had to, but we’re still in our 20s, and I would like to get back to the carefree life we had before. We only have a couple of years before we start trying for kids of our own.

My wife wants to have the children “visit” their father on weekends until she’s sure he can hack it as a single father. It will help to have our weekends back — but we’ll still be dealing with the drudgery during the week.

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And what really worries me is that my wife can’t explain exactly what will signal the dad is ready. I understand her reluctance to let go, but I say let the dad take full custody now and if he can’t handle it, then they can come back. None of these custody arrangements were ever made legal, so who are we to deny him, right? Isn’t my plan a reasonable one for all concerned?


DEAR WORRIED: I’m sorry, no, it’s not — and your plan almost lost me entirely.

I’m with you fully on what you agreed to do and what you’ve given up. You are young. You

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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