Ask Amy: I’m his groomsman, and I’m in love with the bride

DEAR AMY: I’m in love with my best friend’s fiancee, and I’m set to be a groomsman at their wedding.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

I met the bride in college. We worked together. After months of office flirting, we spent a night together. I told her how I felt, and she reciprocated. However, the next day I got a “can we act like that didn’t happen and just be friends” text. I respected her request.

Many months later, we met our new co-worker. He and I became good friends. A year in, they started seeing one another. Despite being best friends, I never told him or anyone how I felt about her. I didn’t want to admit I was still holding onto one night from several years ago.

I moved away in an effort to distance myself from the relationship, but remained great friends to both. After years of turning down potential partners, I decided I deserved to be happy. I dated a woman for four years, and while I loved her very much, it never matched what I feel for the bride.

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Months will go by where I don’t think about her. But when I go back to visit, or if she’s brought up in conversation, I realize the feelings are still there.

So, here I am, seven years into this ridiculous infatuation. The groom is like a brother to me and I think they’re great together. I have no delusions about a future with her. I just want to be able to move on.

Can I gain closure without coming clean to the bride or groom? Because I fear to do so would end both relationships completely.


DEAR GROOMSMAN: This is basically

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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