Miss Manners: Does an unmarried couple deserve a housewarming?

Judith Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper for a man and woman who are building a house but aren’t married to have a housewarming?

GENTLE READER: We are not, Miss Manners presumes, talking about a widowed, elderly brother and sister who have decided to retire together. Your question really is: Does etiquette condemn couples who cohabitate without being married?

In fact, etiquette does not care, this being a question of morals, not manners.

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Anyone who objects to the arrangement is free to decline the invitation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother is suspected of having narcissistic personality disorder — one of the worst cases many have seen. Throughout my life, I was subject to verbal and physical abuse, as well as unreasonable demands to allow her control over my life, and further abuse if I deviated from whatever nonsense she dictated — well into adulthood.

In my 30s, I began distancing myself from her, and her behavior became increasingly deranged. She began lying about me to friends and family, accusing me of suffering from mental illnesses I certainly don’t have.

As a result, in my 40s, I cut her out of my life completely and stopped responding to calls or emails. She then cut me out of her significant will, yet continued sending emails and leaving voicemails abusing me, and accusing me of shirking my duties toward her as she aged and grew ill.

She is now expected to die within three years due to numerous chronic diseases.

When she dies, frankly, I will be relieved and grateful that I will no longer be subject to her sharp abuses that still leave me feeling like a vulnerable child. I

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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