Dear Amy: My wife (who is 64) recently discovered a new cousin, “Meg,” (also in her 60s) through DNA testing.
Meg lives in a different part of the country and although they have not met in person, they communicate via social media and email, and have since become close friends.
My wife’s uncle, at the time of his affair with Meg’s mom, was married with four young kids. He recently passed away.
My wife’s aunt is in her late 80s and suffers from dementia. She is in very poor health.
Her aunt has no idea that her late husband fathered a child 60 years ago while they were married.
My wife is close to her four cousins, who are not aware that they have a half-sister.
I believe that my wife should let them know about Meg. If it was me, I would want to know if my father had sired another child and that I have a half-sibling out there.
My wife feels just the opposite, and will not tell them.
Who is right?
— Curious About Cousins
Dear Curious: I believe you’re right.
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However, importantly, you and I don’t share DNA with your wife or her cousin, and so while we have the right to our opinions, that’s about all we have.
DNA testing has exploded in popularity, and questions about the unforeseen personal and relational complications arising from it have flooded my in-box.
We are in fairly uncharted territory. But the truth is the truth, and people deserve to know the truth about themselves.
I have long advocated against holding onto “family secrets,” mainly because people who keep secrets are basically deciding for themselves who is deserving of the truth. I realize that people keeping secrets are often well-meaning, as I assume your wife is. But I also believe that most people can handle the truth, even if it is surprising, shocking or painful. (For instance, you and your wife don’t really know whether …
Source:: The Denver Post – Lifestyle