Helping to pay for my girlfriend’s abortion 20 years ago at the age of 14 seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
It would get rid of a bad situation in our lives; we wouldn’t have to deal with the “problem” anymore. After all, we were told — and we believed at the time — that having a baby at our age would “ruin your lives.”
But the opposite was true. The abortion sent each of us into a downward spiral that was fueled by drugs, depression and denial.
By the grace of God, I was rescued from my addiction — and am forever grateful to the Lord.
Sadly, my then-girlfriend Jane (not her real name) died of an overdose before she even reached her 30th birthday.
Over two decades later, I am still dealing with the scars of that abortion. I know things won’t completely heal until eternity. I wonder about the daughter I would have had (I don’t know for sure if the baby was a girl, but I often think that was the case). What would my little girl have looked like? What would her name be? What would her life be like now?
Growing up near Chicago in the early 1990s, I was a wayward teenager. Jane and I had no real moral framework in which to operate. Our parents weren’t around much, so we spent a lot of time alone together. Plus, I was kicked out of the eighth grade and she spent a lot of time ditching school.
One night, as we were talking on the phone, she told me she was pregnant. I remember feeling scared. We had no idea that one of her parents had picked up another phone in the house and was listening in on our conversation.
Things were tense. My parents kept asking how Jane knew for sure the baby was mine. Her parents were insistent she could not have the baby, especially since her sister had had a baby out of wedlock and was struggling to raise the child. Her parents’ solution? Abort the baby — and I should pay half the cost, to the tune of a couple of hundred dollars.
At the time, I felt a sense of relief. The notion of having a child terrified me. Being a father had never crossed my young teenage mind …