Ask Amy: This odd babysitting arrangement is making things awkward

DEAR AMY: Our older son and his wife are bringing her parents to our younger son’s out-of-town wedding to babysit their 1-year-old.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

This babysitting doesn’t feel necessary to anyone except the young parents. The marrying couple don’t mind if the young parents bring their baby to the wedding and have told them it is fine. The in-law babysitters are not invited to the wedding.

It is creating an awkward family dynamic. Should the out-of-town babysitting couple be invited to the wedding? Would it be more appropriate to include the babysitting adults in the events before and after the wedding?

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The engaged couple are already not inviting some of their friends in order to keep the cost down.

Wedding Guest Confusion

DEAR CONFUSION: It sounds like your son and daughter-in-law included her parents as babysitters in this out-of-town wedding because they don’t want to go to a wedding with a 1-year-old. I’ve gone to weddings with 1-year-olds — more than once — and I can testify that it’s not always a rollicking good time.

Your family now feels some pressure to invite these in-laws to the wedding, in which case the two young parents would now be attending the wedding with a baby and her parents. This might not be at all what they had in mind when they started the ball rolling.

Is your son (the dad) pressuring his brother (the groom) to include his in-laws in the wedding? You don’t say.

Yes, it would be kind to invite the older couple to ancillary events, like the next-day brunch. As the mother of the groom and peer in-law to this older couple, you should encourage

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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