DEAR CAROLYN: My brother wants to know what I think about his girlfriend. I don’t like her. It isn’t an actionable dislike — she isn’t controlling, criminal or abusive — but I find her boring and, worse, a boredom missionary. No hobbies, doesn’t watch any TV shows, thinks fandom for anything is stupid, and doesn’t have a team (in any sport!) that she supports.
Our plans to do a panic room, see a dumb movie, or eat at the weird new fusion place are all “a bit silly.” Instead she just wants to do dinner at someplace deemed nice and an indie movie about sad people being sad — fine if that’s her thing, but she never seems to enjoy it, or anything. She doesn’t even like animals!
Carolyn Hax: She says her mom must be in the delivery room, and this is why
Carolyn Hax: The more I nag, the more he shuts down
Carolyn Hax: I’m working my tail off while he sits and dreams
Carolyn Hax: Mom’s ruining my pregnancy with this guilt trip
Carolyn Hax: They can dredge up this sordid past without me
I have dodged my brother’s question, but he is pushing. The best I can think to say is that she is unobjectionable and has lovely hair (tried to ask about that — she just washes it, “that is a bit of a silly question”).
I can do the old “she makes you happy” dodge, but pretty sure my brother will see through that. Plus, do I owe it to him to point out that she obviously loves him but doesn’t share an interest in anything he enjoys and probably won’t want to do any of the big-adventure-stuff holidays he has always planned? Or even get the Great Dane he has wanted since our childhood dog died?
On the other hand, he has picked her, maybe a life of gentle boredom is what adult bro is all about? I just don’t know. I think if she didn’t do this passive roadblock of disapproval about things she …
Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle