DEAR CAROLYN: So, I’m a guy with a serious girlfriend. No children, but it’s been talked about — after marriage, which has also been talked about. Mid-30s.
And my girlfriend told me her preference is to have her mom in the delivery room with me when the time comes.
Let’s just say I’m mid-processing how I feel about this. On one hand, my girlfriend would be the one doing all the work. So, whatever makes her comfortable. And her mom and I get along. Hey, anything that spares me a headache I should be on board with, right?
Carolyn Hax: The more I nag, the more he shuts down
Carolyn Hax: I’m working my tail off while he sits and dreams
Carolyn Hax: Mom’s ruining my pregnancy with this guilt trip
Carolyn Hax: They can dredge up this sordid past without me
Carolyn Hax: She chose this stupid nickname to indicate she’s ‘the real grandmother’
But, my gut tells me this is a moment I would want to be just the two of us. Also, one reason my girlfriend wants her mom in the room is because she doesn’t feel I would be enough of a “bulldog” (which she says in most other situations is a good thing).
I’m biased, but I’m confident in my ability to step up and proactively advocate for my girlfriend mid-chaos.
Now I’m making this some sort of litmus test. If she doesn’t trust me in the delivery room, then what does that say about us? Is it really a thing that grandmas are in the delivery room (said ducking for cover from feminist grenades)? Any help would be appreciated.
Enough of a “Bulldog”
DEAR ENOUGH: The only thing that had me reaching for a feminist grenade (I keep them on my desk, next to the bonbons) was your stupid aside about feminist grenades.
Come on. Everything else about your letter says you’re better than that.
A bit shaky on history, though. Women across time have gone through labor with the support of other women. So yes, it is “a thing.”
That doesn’t mean it has to …
Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle