Ask Amy: If she calls me fat one more time, I’m leaving

DEAR AMY: OK. Long story short: I’m 47, gay and single. I’ve spent the last eight years living away from my family of origin.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

I recently moved back to my home state, although I live about two hours away from my family. My problem is my widowed mother, who’s 77. We haven’t had the best relationship lately because she refuses to recognize boundaries.

The biggest issue is my weight. I’m overweight, and I know it.

Every time I see her she tells me how fat I am, and that I shouldn’t be eating the dessert she made, even though I’ve asked her many times not to comment on my weight.

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She’s planning on visiting me soon, and I know the first thing she’ll say to me is how fat I am and how she’s just concerned about my health. If I object, she declares me to be too sensitive.

I get it. I know I’m fat, but I’m just tired of hearing it from her. I’ve told her many times I don’t appreciate this.

I get the feeling that she doesn’t really care about my health; she’s just embarrassed to be seen with me. (And really, I’m not obese, or even that fat. I have some belly fat, like many men my age.)

If she disparages my weight when she visits, my inclination is to say, “I’m done” and walk away. Then she’ll blame me for abandoning her. But I’m done with the insults. I can’t put up with her abuse anymore. Do you have any advice for enduring what is likely to be an unpleasant visit?

Not So Fat

DEAR NOT SO FAT: It’s quite challenging to declare, “I’m done” and then walk

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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