Miss Manners: They want you to feed the demon you’re trying to quash

Judith Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a female graduate student in a male-dominated field. While I feel that women are respected, for the most part, at my school, there is a strong bias in hiring and a visible minority of openly sexist students.

Judith Martin

A few months ago, I had a particularly painful period, and was faint and nauseated for most of the day. Because it was the first day of class, I went, though I could not concentrate through the pain. After 40 or so minutes, I felt that I was on the verge of vomiting, and left in a hurry. I returned to collect my things after class had ended, but was still feeling so shaky that I didn’t speak to the professor, who was busy with others. I sent an email later that day in which I briefly apologized for leaving class, pleading a migraine.

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Later, commiserating with a small group of friends over text, I told the embarrassing story. For the next 24 hours, I was berated for propping up the patriarchy by not marching up to my professor and telling him I was bleeding and would see him next week.

I was also lambasted for my insensitivity to those disabled by migraines but not taken seriously because of all the people who fake headaches to get out of things. I have no “icky” feelings about my period and openly discuss it with male friends, but apparently my commitment to feminism is suspect if I don’t air my dirty underwear to the professional world, as well.

I think it’s entirely my own business, and that unlike my friends’ stories of telling high-school teachers about their periods, in graduate school, this is inappropriate to the point of painful awkwardness. What do you think?


Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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