Ask Amy: I’m hiding $45,000 in debt from him

Columnist Amy Dickinson  (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

DEAR AMY: I’m in a long-term marriage. I have hidden debt (in my name only).

The debt is around $45,000. I incurred this debt through light gambling, buying clothes, makeup, travel, hobbies, gifts to adult children and also moving it around to prevent my husband from finding out about it.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

I completely manage this debt because my income covers it.

In the marriage, part of our income is shared for household needs and the remainder is for each spouse to handle as they wish, with the expectation of much of it going to savings as we are nearing retirement.

I’m torn between telling my husband about it, which may or may not end the marriage, and just leaving the marriage without telling him about it.

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Except for some diminishing of retirement expectations, the debt has not affected our financial strength. The lying and dishonesty, however, is affecting the emotional strength of our relationship.

Obviously, there are other issues involved in our long marriage, but at this point, this is the question: Should I tell my husband about this hidden debt and incur his wrath and the possible end to the marriage? Or should I not tell him of the debt and leave the marriage by my own choice?

Or should I stay the course and, since it’s manageable, assume that everything will be OK when the debt is paid off?

I think I know what I’m going to do, but I’m still interested in your response.


DEAR IMPRISONED: You don’t mention if you have

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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