Being in love can mask our intuition and make us ignore warning signs.
But sometimes, we may have a gut instinct something isn’t right.
It can be tricky to work out when you should listen to your intuition, or dismiss it as irrational.
One way to try and work it out is to go for a walk and turn off your rational thoughts altogether.
That way, your body might be able to come to a conclusion your mind couldn’t.
In the fog of love, it can be easy to get carried away with the feelings of infatuation and ignore warning signs that someone might not be right for you.
Other times, you might have a niggling feeling in the back of your mind that something’s amiss.
According to Jonathan Marshall, a relationship expert and psychotherapist, you should always be listening to this intuition.
“It’s very easy to be dazzled by the other person’s good looks, and charms, and other things,” he told Business Insider. “Try to maintain one ear sensitive to your intuition, not necessarily going by that alone, but by simply being aware of it and listening to it. That little hunch — like ‘he was a bit cruel just then’ — don’t just let it go.”
One of the first things a narcissist or emotional manipulator will do is try and separate you from your own ability to listen to yourself. They will start to gaslight you, and train you to only take their word as the truth.
But not every relationship you get into will be with an abusive person, so how can you tell the difference between your gut telling you something important, and your mind getting carried away and obsessing over something unimportant?
“I think that’s really hard,” Marshall said. “I think it is ultimately about knowing yourself, and knowing that there are times when you’re spinning your wheels, and sometimes you have a funny feeling.”
He added that it’s part of growing and learning to discriminate between the neurotic and obsessive thoughts and something you should actually listen to.
“Intuition, for any people, is less verbal and more silent and more textural,” he said. “It’s more of a sense, like a feeling or a vibe. Whereas the intellectualisation, and the over-analysis, it seems to me, is a lot more chatty. It is a lot more noisy… [Intuition] is not like the waves on the surface, it is more the tide beneath the waves.”
Sometimes, if you have a …
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