How To Nappy-change A Crawler

So it’s happened. You’ve been dreading it for months now and, finally, it’s here!!
HE/SHE (delete as appropriate) is
CRAWLING!
In a moment, they’ve finally mastered forward propulsion and, with an unremarkable shuffle, your life just changed forever.

What happened next? You panicked didn’t you? Don’t be coy, everyone does. Suddenly, the realization dawns that your little crying and pooing creature (that you’re not allowed to return to the shop because you lost the receipt or something) has cast off its most endearing quality – complete immobility. That’s right, from now on it won’t be staying where you put it and that’s bloody scary!

The blind panic that this triggers lasts around 24 hours (usually), during which time you tape the furniture to the floor, blunt all the butter knives and rip up the carpet (replacing it with Velcro).

Don’t worry it’s all perfectly normal.

Now that you’ve ruined your house, bubble-wrapped the dog and sanded down all the sharp edges on grandma in a futile bid to overcome your little darling one’s kamikaze tendencies, another horrendous thought strikes: “How the hell am I going to change their nappies?”

Fear not, you’re in the right place.

Here’s my guide to nappy changing a crawler.

You can thank me later.

1: STAY CALM
What you’re about to do is like sitting down to watch Sex & The City 2 – essentially no good will come of this situation. It will (I promise) be a living hell from beginning to end. Reconcile yourself to that. Perhaps have a few moments of quiet contemplative swearing before you begin.

It can help.

2: BE DETERMINED
Crawlers can smell weakness, just like you can smell the contents of their Pampers. Don’t let them think they’re going to win – otherwise they will test you. Place your crawler onto their changing mat and tell them (as confidently as you can) that their nappy is about to be changed.

3: DON’T FORGET WET-WIPES
Crawlers have a special sixth sense that instructs them in the best way to create maximum carnage during a nappy change. If said diaper is merely wet they may just conserve energy. If, however, it’s messier than an explosion in a gateaux factory it’s guaranteed they’ll move quicker than a Jeremy Kyle show guest when the free bar opens.

THERE WILL BE POO EVERYWHERE.

Wet-wipes can hide a multitude of sins. By ‘sins’ (of course) I mean poo. I’m yet to meet a surface that a wet wipe couldn’t clean. When

Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Lifestyle

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