No one can dispute that being a parent is the toughest job ever. There are mums and dads the world over doing their absolute best to grow their offspring. Like tending a fragile plant, we nurture and protect. We want nothing more but for our children to be happy, healthy, and safe. So what kind of a mother would want to intentionally hurt her child?
Immediately after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I had visions of my children and thoughts of dying. Then, another bombshell hit me; the prospect of having to tell my three children my awful news. Why would I even contemplate breaking it to them? How could I tell my impressionable 14 year old son and my innocent 10 year old daughters that I might soon be leaving them forever, or that their mum was going to be very unwell at the very least? Every time I thought about it, the lump in my throat would swell.
1. The Feelings of Guilt and Betrayal
Telling them would be nothing less than an act of betrayal. I was supposed to be the one they could trust, the person they could always rely on and the one to make them feel loved and looked after, yet here I was, feeling guilt ridden because telling them would surely crush them. My maternal instincts were saying I’d deny them their childhood happiness. I was convinced it would mess with their minds and ruin their lives.
2. Your Fears Become Their Fears
I was challenged by my own fears and concerns so how could I possibly allay my children’s fears if they were to see how scared and vulnerable I was? Surely, if they saw me sad and worried, they would feel the same way. The thought of dying and leaving them was too painful to bear but I couldn’t let them see that by getting emotional in front of them. How could I possibly remain composed relaying this message of doom? At the end of the day, I just wasn’t brave enough; my tears would certainly betray me.
3. The Deception Can Be Exhausting
Let’s not beat around the bush. If you choose to hide your cancer diagnosis from your children, you’re basically lying to them. Yes, I lied. Harsh, but true. In the weeks ensuing a cancer diagnosis, there are lots of hospital appointments to attend, probable surgery to undergo and various treatments to …
Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Lifestyle