In 2011, my husband was 51, I was 39, our daughters were 11 and eight years old. We were out of the diaper phase and almost out of the babysitter phase. While we were enjoying this new phase in our family, our hearts yearned for another child. And though we were physically capable of creating a new life, we instead wanted to create space for a baby in need of a home.
When we began to talk about our decision, we received mixed messages from our friends and family. Some people were cautious, telling us that such a decision was a risk and that the baby could come with special needs. We were asked why would we want to raise an infant again at this stage of our parenting journey. And we were questioned about why we would want to do this, given that we already had two beautiful, biological children. Some were concerned whether I would be able to love a baby from another’s womb to the same extent that I loved my own biological children. And that led to my own concerns. Would I be able to love all of my children the same?
On the other hand, many people were incredibly supportive, offering non-stop emotional support. Some friends even offered to come over and set up an instant nursery with the baby furniture they’d been holding onto in their garage to help show our dedication during adoption agency’s home visits.
I was surprised when people felt the need to explain the risks to me. I am a professor of special education and a child psychologist. I teach teachers how to best meet the needs of children with special needs in the classroom. In my clinic, I have assessed countless adopted children over the years. Our very own godchild was adopted from Korea. If anyone knew the risks, it was me. It seemed a bit absurd that they were compelled to tell me these things, but I understood it was their way of showing love and concern for my family’s well-being.
The love that filled my heart was nearly overwhelming.
I tried to articulate exactly what it was that had brought us to this choice, but it wasn’t easy. How do you explain such a personal, intrinsic desire? How could I put into words the grace, beauty and incredible love I observed in families that had made this choice? How do you explain …
Source:: The Huffington Post – Canada Travel