Ask Amy: Cybersecurity expert gets ‘spousehacked’

Columnist Amy Dickinson  (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

Reading this on your phone? Stay up to date with our free mobile app. Get it from the Apple app store or the Google Play store.

DEAR AMY: I have been married for 25 years. I recently earned my degree in cybersecurity/computer forensics with highest honors.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

Recently, we hosted a social event. The topic shifted to problems with our internet provider. My husband was attempting to say we could use another service. I explained to him that we only have one provider in our area, and as usual, he argued with me openly, disregarding what I said.

Related Articles

Ask Amy: Know-it-all brother doesn’t know relationships

Ask Amy: Is forgiveness possible when someone continues to hurt?

Ask Amy: Big box shopper has a very bad day

Ask Amy: How are my girls? Well, one of them is now male

Ask Amy: Wife wonders about siblings’ bathroom habits

A male guest restated my point, and my husband took his word for it immediately. I asked why he had a hard time believing me on the matter, and his response was that a cybersecurity degree had “nothing to do with the internet.” I asked him where he thought cybersecurity took precedence, and the male guest laughed. I excused myself from the conversation.

My husband shows no respect for my opinion. I have often told him how his lack of respect hurts me, but to no avail. He simply does not trust what I tell him to be credible.

I realize this lack of validation will not change and in the future I will avoid these topics and pay attention to other people. Is there another way to handle such incidences?

And is this open questioning of educated women by their spouses common?

Disappointed

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You didn’t get “mansplained” (where a man explains a woman’s own expertise to her), but “spousehacked.” This is the unfortunately too common, non-gender specific, practice of basically treating a spouse like a piece of cardboard in public.

You assume that your husband doesn’t trust your credibility, but my take on it is that he

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

(Visited 5 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *