Sex can be painful or uncomfortable for all manner of reasons. It might be you got the angle wrong. It might be you’ve recently given birth or had an infection. Or it might be as a result of a lifelong condition or disability.
“For those of us who are disabled, that pain might be more frequent and difficult to control,” Jennie Williams from Enhance The UK tells HuffPost UK. “But there is good news: sex is for everyone, and that’s most certainly a fact.”
A recent report from relationships charity Relate found disabled people and those living with long-term health conditions were more likely to be dissatisfied with their sex lives. This is particularly concerning when studies have linked low sexual satisfaction to lower psychological wellbeing.
To tackle the problem head on, experts have revealed their top tips and workarounds for boosting sexual satisfaction in the bedroom.
It might sound obvious but communication is key when it comes to sex – especially if you’re experiencing pain or discomfort.
“Communication is something many of us find the most difficult,” explains Williams.
“It sometimes seems simpler to grin and bear it, especially if a partner is new and exciting and perhaps not fully aware of the impairment. But please don’t do this – speak up and suggest other ways of pleasuring each other.”
Consent is also incredibly important and if you don’t quite feel comfortable doing something sexual with another person, then it’s crucial that you say so – don’t let them pressure you or feel like you have to.
Think Beyond Penetration
Any woman will tell you that penetrative sex isn’t the be-all and end-all – yet unfortunately society seems to put a lot of emphasis on it. Sex education in schools is all about penetration and avoiding pregnancy, not so much about pleasure. Meanwhile, it’s rare you see film scenes involving oral sex.
Gillian Leno is a specialist sex and relationships educator working with people with a wide range of disabilities. She says the focus on penetration (and then orgasm) puts a lot of pressure on everyone involved.
As such, her advice is to “look at focusing on intimacy and sensuality in the first instance and not the ‘end goal’ of achieving penetration or climax”.
If penetrative sex is difficult, experts advise getting a little more hands-on.
“You might not be able to get into the missionary position without hurting, but you might …
Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Lifestyle